How Did We Get Here?

Being pregnant this year, I knew my family was going to grow and go through a number of changes. By no means did I anticipate such huge changes. My little yellow house with two bedrooms and one bathroom has suddenly gone from a family of 3...to a family of 4...to a family of 6! We are busting at the seams. All of the sudden, our electric bill has sky rocketed, there are not enough places in the living room to cuddle up and watch a movie, the bathroom is ALWAYS in use, our plumbing is backed up, and we take two cars everywhere we want/need to go as a family.


I bet you are wondering how I went from being pregnant with one baby and being a family of 3, to being a family of 6! Well, my husband and I were recently given the option to take in my two god-daughters. One being 15 years old and the other one being 18 years old. Yes, you read correctly. We have decided to take on two hormonal, emotional, but awesome teenage girls! I was talking to someone tonight on the phone and they did not know whether to call us brave or crazy. We came to the conclusion that we are both.


I know that some of my family and friends are wondering how in the heck we are going to be able to do this.
With Donald in school and me not working as much for the past year, we have really been blessed to even make our mortgage payment, electric bill or car payment at all. It has been paycheck to paycheck and sometimes wondering what we could sell just to make it to the next paycheck. I have complete faith that God's got this one. As crazy as it is, I am really not scared at all...nor does my husband seem to be. Heh! ;) We seem to have a peace about this. Besides life is much more interesting when you don't know what is headed your way. It builds character!

All in all, it is what we should be doing, want to be doing and enjoy doing. These girls are an awesome addition to our family. It has definitely turned the entertainment notch up a bit.

No Two Are The Same!

Well, here I am 31 years old, 9 months pregnant with my second child, 10 years after the first, and I have learn SO MUCH in comparison to my first birth.

1. No two births are the same!

It is so funny how when women see another pregnant woman they are compelled to share their story of their birth or births. There have been times when some have shared their horror stories with me through this pregnancy and I have thought to myself "why?", "why would they tell me this?". When I was six weeks pregnant one woman actually sent me a Facebook message telling me about a dream she had about me and my pregnancy. She said that I went into early labor in January, died and left Donald with Calvin and this tiny infant. I was horrified. I spent about 4 days crying. I could not rap my brain around being told that and needless to say I absolutely dreaded January for the longest time. I did realize through the help of my husband, Bradley teacher, particular friends, and midwife that this was nothing I needed to concern myself with, that it was not healthy for me to dwell on this. The issue was with the person that sent it to me. I also realized and remembered that God has more control over situations than we do. I was finally able to forgive and let it go. Unfortunately, it took a great deal of my pregnancy to work through that mental battle.

2. You have absolutely no control over the physical changes in pregnancy but you can definitely control how you handle things mentally through your pregnancy! Not emotionally....but mentally!

There were many times throughout my pregnancy, I just wanted to feel sexy and it just was not happening. I mean lets face it....I am huge and have been huge almost this entire pregnancy! None the less, there have been times I have looked to my wonderful husband for the sexy reassurance and well half the time he was laughing at me trying to reach my feet, or my big belly getting in the way of one particular thing or another.

The question is, how did I handle that? Well, let me explain something first. I think I have been so grateful to share this pregnancy with someone that has been so excited, and savoring every moment of it, that every ounce of teasing or laughing at me was just enjoyed! That is not to say that I did not cry when he teased or laughed at me. In fact, about 100% of the time I had this way of cracking up over myself (what he was laughing at) and absolutely bawling my eyes out at the same time. Of course, we would look at each other while I was doing this, and only laugh harder.

3. The shape you are in when you get pregnant will effect how pleasant your pregnancy is!

At the beginning of this pregnancy I was not in horrible shape but I was more overweight than I wanted to be. With my first pregnancy with Calvin, I was in the best shape of my life. I had about 19% to 24% body fat. Right before getting pregnant with Calvin, I was rock climbing, kayaking, running, hiking, biking and working out constantly. I worked landscaping until I was 5 to 6 months pregnant and worked out all the time.

I have truly enjoyed both pregnancies. I love being pregnant! Although, it is amazing how you feel going into it more overweight or out of shape. I also have to throw in the fact that I am older. BUT I truly believe that no matter how old you are, if you take care of yourself the way you should age does not matter. I just think that the older you get, the more responsibilities you have, therefore taking away time for yourself and not being able to take care of yourself like you should. I did find that the days that I really paid attention to what my body needed, were the best days of my pregnancy.

4. Doctors are not for me! My midwife is where it is at!

The reason I say this, is not out of defiance to the norm but because I have learned that during pregnancy, a woman's need intensifies by a billion. The one thing I love about having a midwife is, it is like having another momma. She has comforted me in times that I have needed it, loved on me when I needed it, provided for me when we could not afford to provide the things I needed to take care of myself and MORE THAN ANYTHING, she has listened to me!

Even if I were a high risk pregnancy, I would still go with her. The reason for this is because she has the time to devote to me. Which is what a high risk pregnancy needs from the beginning, not once it becomes high risk. She takes time to teach me how to take care of myself and reduce the risks. Not only that, she works in a preventive way, rather than waiting until the issue comes to the surface. If blood pressure, could be a possible issue, she teaches how to nip it before it does become one. Even if I were to give birth in a hospital, I would still hold on to her!

The other thing is, at each appointment she devotes an hour per client. It does not matter if the entire check up takes that long or if you spend the majority of it just chatting and catching up. That is your hour with her. And I am sorry but sitting in a waiting room for 45 minutes waiting for your name to be called, then to be shuffled back and out within 15 to 30 minutes in a doctors office, there is just no comparison. It is just not for me!

I have done it both ways now and I will always go with a midwife, with my midwife! Women giving birth need an advocate for the type of birth they want, whether it be in a hospital, home, or birth clinic. Women need resources to learn their options, to learn about their body, learn about their birth, and what it could be like. It is such a beautiful thing!

5. When it comes to labor and delivery, ANYTHING can change at ANYTIME!

There is no way to predict, no rule book, and no hard coded evidence written as to how a labor or delivery will go for every or any birth. I learned that during my first delivery with Calvin but doing it naturally has really ground in for me. The hard part is learning how to deal with it. It can be an emotional roller coaster all in all. Getting your hopes up and then something changing.

Ultimately, in the end, once the fat lady sings.....NO TWO BIRTHS ARE THE SAME! So women, save yourself the trouble and don't bother comparing or at least don't ride on how a birth went for someone else . Enough said....

Kicked Out Of School For All The Wrong Reasons

So nothing infuriates me more than for a Christian or a group of Christians to result to turning their back on another when they make a mistake, or waiver in their walk with Christ. Is this really a solution? Is this really what my Christ would do? Are they really delivering the right message to all those new Christians out there? Hmmmm?

I have these two beautiful teenage girls in my life that attend a Westminster Christian Academy here in Huntsville. One of them recently came to and informed that her best friend at the school had been kicked out. The reason for this was that she was pregnant. This decision is left to the headmaster of the school.

I guess, now that I think about it if my daughter were to get pregnant in high school, a Christian High School, and as a result be kicked out....I would not want my daughter to attend there anyway. I would not want my daughter to have this as an example of how Christians handle situations like this. I do not know a number of details about this situation, all I know is that this young lady, who has been kicked out of school for being pregnant, needs that Christian support now than ever, she needs just support in general, she needs to know where to go for guidance.

I know and understand the example she is setting for the rest of the student body but who is to say that allowing her to stay would not be setting a good example. She could be used as an example. This could be an opportunity to talk to the student about being sexually active, not denying that it exists. I guess they could keep the whole "don't ask don't tell" policy and the problem will magically fix itself and disappear. Kids will just magically know how to treat sexual activity with respect, to treat themselves with respect. Not to mention, the students being taught through example (despite what they may say) that judgment is left us, not the God that created us.
Let me make it perfectly clear, I did not write this as a Christian bashing blog. I am a Christian. I am very passionate about my Christian faith, please respect that. I believe that it is not a religion, but a personal and intimate relationship with Christ. Personal in that no one should judge another Christian's walk, mistakes, or way of living, leave that to God. I believe God has has that under control. I just believe that people (even Christians) have the wrong conception of how some things should be, not that I have the correct conception but I do at least know that my Christ was forgiving, accepting, and loving. I just think there are better ways for situations like this to be handled. Ugh!

Just Breathe

"Just breathe" are the words I hear often these days. My husband is so good. Everytime he see me wrinkle my nose, make a painful face, make a noise, or clinch my fists he calmly says, "breathe Alice, just breathe". I try to remember the words of my wonderful Bradley teacher (Jennifer), about centering my attention on the part of my body going through the pain, not to tense up the other parts of my body and make it worse. My husband read a great analogy in his Bradley coaching book. Think of a kicker for a football team. When goes to the field to kick, he is relaxed his whole body almost limp. As he stands in front of the ball, getting ready to kick it, he works to relax everything. He jumps up and down, wiggling his arms, rotating his shoulders forward and backward, rotating his head around and around. He then let his hands drop to his side. All of his energy is focused in his leg and foot, the part of the body doing the work. That is how it should be. This is how it should be for me while working through these contractions. I get it. I truly get the concept and I can do it, it just takes having my mind where it needs to be. I have to find that peaceful state. My peaceful state is the image of me laying there in God's great big hands. It works for me, it always has.


Sunday evening I had discovered I was leaking amniotic fluid. This is fine and to almost be expected late in the pregnancy, so long as you are replenishing that fluid. I don't think that women realize just how important it is to drink water during their pregnancy. I called my wonderful midwife, Linda to inform her. She reassured me that it was fine and asked if I was still having the contractions I have been having for a couple of weeks now and my answer was yes. I was to just pay close attention to things from here on out.


Monday I woke up to feel some pretty heavy contractions although they were not in a consistent pattern, I knew something was changing. I then called Linda again and she asked me to come on up to her (home) clinic (which is just past the Tennessee state line, about 20 minutes away). I called Donald, he left work immediately, ran by the school to pick up Calvin and came to pick me up! He was a little excited, it was cute! Once we arrived, Linda checked me over and determined I was definitely in labor and we would probably be having a baby that night or Tuesday at some point. We decided to head home to do most of the laboring there.

As we drove down the road, we were just super excited. Just past the state line we got a call from Linda, she asked us to turn around and head back to the clinic. Linda had realized after looking at a blood test I took in the beginning, that we had kinda lost site of how far along I was. Please understand, I have been measuring at two weeks ahead of time this whole pregnancy and that blood test was not taken with Linda, it was taken with the doctor we started out with. So it was easy for us to loose focus by measuring the uterus (my belly) and such. We don't a ton of ultrasounds to determine things. Sunday, I was under the impression that I was full term (37 weeks) along but it turns out I am only 35 (based off that blood test). Linda asked that we go home, relax and try to slow things down, if it did not stop, she believed the baby would be just fine, as did I too. I am completely confident that this is one healthy baby but ultimately in the end, only God knows and I truly need to listen to my midwife.

We went home a little frustrated but knew it was still a possibility to give birth soon. I then got a call a little while later from Linda, she asked that I try to completely stop the labor. To take a shower, drink 4 to 6 ounces of wine, and lay down. I got off the phone and just sobbed. I had taken my shower and I laid down for about 20 minutes (which was really all I could sleep) and no change. I reluctantly drank the wine, I just did not want to stop the progress. The contractions did not slow down until late that night. I was able to get a couple hours of sleep.

Here we are on Wednesday, my contractions have continued, although nowhere near as consistent as they were getting on Monday and I am still leaking amniotic fluid. My orders are to hold off for another week or two. I am to rest as much as possible. This is not my style. This is hard for me. I do not like to just sit here or sleep all the time. This will be a challenge. I have plenty of other things I need to be doing and heck I would love to see people! I feel like I am already here all the time as it is. I am ready to meet this little bugger. I know he is just going to be awesome! My boys are SO ready! They want him here now. Calvin loves that the baby responds to his voice in the morning. Donald will call out to him across the room and my tummy will ripple over and over again.

Ultimately, I know what I need to do. I need to suck it up and be patient. I feel torn. I am so anxious but at the same time I am SO glad that I have this time to prepare. I have this time to work on centering my attention on relaxing as I should. We all know I won't get much relaxing time after this little one is here.

SO to end this long blog, if you are bored and would like to just relax, come on over! We will sit here and drink wine (of course I will be cut off after one) and just breathe!

Just Getting Started

I am 31 years old, 1 year, 4 months into my 2nd marriage, I have a 9 year old that will be 10 on March 14th, I have an established career, work from home, own my home and I am 9 1/4 months (37 weeks) pregnant today. It is so interesting that after so many things have been established in my life, I only just feel like things are just getting started!

My name is Alice Brown. I am not too complicated of a person, at least I try not to be hard to figure out. Sometimes I think people make it harder than it really needs to be. I will pretty much tell you anything about me or how I feel about anything, if you ask....sometimes even if you don't....heh!

I have started this blog just because I wanted to start documenting my life. The awesome, not so awesome and day to day changes that have and will continue to take place in my life. I am not a writer, in fact my spelling and editing stink! I just hope that you can look past all of that and enjoy, relate, comment, sympathize, argue (nicely), or share you views of what I choose to share with you!

I will start by introducing my family....

Calvin, Calvin , Calvin....what can I say?!?! Well this boy never ceases to amaze me. He is an old soul with many wise words. He always has a very creative input to any situation. There is not a day that goes by where I don't think of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful child. I do not want to rush him into growing up but I do often wonder what he will be like as a teenager or adult. Since Calvin was born I have tried to take a balanced approach to raising him. Some people may see it as an alternative approach, mixed with some conservative values. My new husband (who you will meet later) and I like to think that we are doing the right thing by how we are raising our child. We believe in today's world you have to prepare your child a little more than people used to. As my mom said today, when she was growing up, learning of sex, birthing, or what was going on with your own body was hush, hush!

I have to say that Calvin knows more about sex, birthing (due to our family approach to the birth of his brother) and his own body than most kids his age do...I might even say than some adults. There two things I can be confident of in our approach to raising and teaching Calvin; 1. That he has learned the right thing about these topics and not gathered bits and pieces from other kids in his life. 2. That he has a respect for all of it, in addition to girls/women in his life and how to look at them as individuals, not objects.

He is such a beautiful child with so much to offer. I feel so blessed to have a child with such a loving, creative, passionate, and eager to please spirit!

Donald, our newest addition to our family is the love of my life. I have never meet a man I am more passionate about. He is a beautiful man! He came into my life pretty unexpectedly. No I did not fall in love with him the first time I saw him. I was definitely attracted to him and so very curious but it took time. I had not planned to ever be married again, let alone be interested in a man that was younger than I. Donald is 6 years younger than I am. This went against everything rule I set for myself when it came to dating.

There was something about him that made me give him a second thought. Don't get me wrong, it was not an easy decision. I had a child to be concerned with and raise. I did not need another and Donald was not out of that "stay up all night, drinking, smoking, sleep all day or at least until you had to be at work" phase when we started dating. I knew he offered more though. It came to a point where we were debating being serious or moving on. We had an argument where he said he could leave at anytime (which I already knew). Every single mom (let alone every woman) already knows this. I looked at him and calmly said "Ok, I understand but first I want you to understand something." I then gave him an choice. I told him that I did not need him to make it through life, to provide a roof over my head, I had already done that! I did not need him to keep going and be happy....but that I chose him. That I choose to have him in my life if he so chooses to stay. I explained that I made the conscious decision to love him with all my heart. I then asked if he still planned on leaving or if he would like to stay. He thought things through and chose to stay. Not only did he stay but from that moment on he made a conscious effort in both mine and Calvin's life, more so than any man had ever done. We dated for a year and a half before he asked me to marry him. Two weeks after we married Calvin came to me and said he wanted to call Donald "dad". That is not a name just given to a man who marries a single mom, it is a name that is earned.

I have gained more respect for him than I had ever gained for any man, including my own father. He restored my hope in how men can turn out. Because of Donald, I have faced a number of issues in my own life that I could not do alone. I like to think he has faced some of his since we have been together. It is something we have taken on together. He is my best friend and confidante.

As of now, we are working on only our 2nd year of this marriage and I feel like it has been at least five. I mean five years in a good way! I feel like we all just fit so well together. It has been a hard first year but one I would not have traded for the world. The three of us just work, we fit well together. I can not wait to see what Baby Brown contributes to our lives as a family. Even in the womb he has already contributed so much. He is such a major part of our lives.

I feel so blessed!

Much Love! I hope to see you back here again!

Alice Brown