No Two Are The Same!

Well, here I am 31 years old, 9 months pregnant with my second child, 10 years after the first, and I have learn SO MUCH in comparison to my first birth.

1. No two births are the same!

It is so funny how when women see another pregnant woman they are compelled to share their story of their birth or births. There have been times when some have shared their horror stories with me through this pregnancy and I have thought to myself "why?", "why would they tell me this?". When I was six weeks pregnant one woman actually sent me a Facebook message telling me about a dream she had about me and my pregnancy. She said that I went into early labor in January, died and left Donald with Calvin and this tiny infant. I was horrified. I spent about 4 days crying. I could not rap my brain around being told that and needless to say I absolutely dreaded January for the longest time. I did realize through the help of my husband, Bradley teacher, particular friends, and midwife that this was nothing I needed to concern myself with, that it was not healthy for me to dwell on this. The issue was with the person that sent it to me. I also realized and remembered that God has more control over situations than we do. I was finally able to forgive and let it go. Unfortunately, it took a great deal of my pregnancy to work through that mental battle.

2. You have absolutely no control over the physical changes in pregnancy but you can definitely control how you handle things mentally through your pregnancy! Not emotionally....but mentally!

There were many times throughout my pregnancy, I just wanted to feel sexy and it just was not happening. I mean lets face it....I am huge and have been huge almost this entire pregnancy! None the less, there have been times I have looked to my wonderful husband for the sexy reassurance and well half the time he was laughing at me trying to reach my feet, or my big belly getting in the way of one particular thing or another.

The question is, how did I handle that? Well, let me explain something first. I think I have been so grateful to share this pregnancy with someone that has been so excited, and savoring every moment of it, that every ounce of teasing or laughing at me was just enjoyed! That is not to say that I did not cry when he teased or laughed at me. In fact, about 100% of the time I had this way of cracking up over myself (what he was laughing at) and absolutely bawling my eyes out at the same time. Of course, we would look at each other while I was doing this, and only laugh harder.

3. The shape you are in when you get pregnant will effect how pleasant your pregnancy is!

At the beginning of this pregnancy I was not in horrible shape but I was more overweight than I wanted to be. With my first pregnancy with Calvin, I was in the best shape of my life. I had about 19% to 24% body fat. Right before getting pregnant with Calvin, I was rock climbing, kayaking, running, hiking, biking and working out constantly. I worked landscaping until I was 5 to 6 months pregnant and worked out all the time.

I have truly enjoyed both pregnancies. I love being pregnant! Although, it is amazing how you feel going into it more overweight or out of shape. I also have to throw in the fact that I am older. BUT I truly believe that no matter how old you are, if you take care of yourself the way you should age does not matter. I just think that the older you get, the more responsibilities you have, therefore taking away time for yourself and not being able to take care of yourself like you should. I did find that the days that I really paid attention to what my body needed, were the best days of my pregnancy.

4. Doctors are not for me! My midwife is where it is at!

The reason I say this, is not out of defiance to the norm but because I have learned that during pregnancy, a woman's need intensifies by a billion. The one thing I love about having a midwife is, it is like having another momma. She has comforted me in times that I have needed it, loved on me when I needed it, provided for me when we could not afford to provide the things I needed to take care of myself and MORE THAN ANYTHING, she has listened to me!

Even if I were a high risk pregnancy, I would still go with her. The reason for this is because she has the time to devote to me. Which is what a high risk pregnancy needs from the beginning, not once it becomes high risk. She takes time to teach me how to take care of myself and reduce the risks. Not only that, she works in a preventive way, rather than waiting until the issue comes to the surface. If blood pressure, could be a possible issue, she teaches how to nip it before it does become one. Even if I were to give birth in a hospital, I would still hold on to her!

The other thing is, at each appointment she devotes an hour per client. It does not matter if the entire check up takes that long or if you spend the majority of it just chatting and catching up. That is your hour with her. And I am sorry but sitting in a waiting room for 45 minutes waiting for your name to be called, then to be shuffled back and out within 15 to 30 minutes in a doctors office, there is just no comparison. It is just not for me!

I have done it both ways now and I will always go with a midwife, with my midwife! Women giving birth need an advocate for the type of birth they want, whether it be in a hospital, home, or birth clinic. Women need resources to learn their options, to learn about their body, learn about their birth, and what it could be like. It is such a beautiful thing!

5. When it comes to labor and delivery, ANYTHING can change at ANYTIME!

There is no way to predict, no rule book, and no hard coded evidence written as to how a labor or delivery will go for every or any birth. I learned that during my first delivery with Calvin but doing it naturally has really ground in for me. The hard part is learning how to deal with it. It can be an emotional roller coaster all in all. Getting your hopes up and then something changing.

Ultimately, in the end, once the fat lady sings.....NO TWO BIRTHS ARE THE SAME! So women, save yourself the trouble and don't bother comparing or at least don't ride on how a birth went for someone else . Enough said....